Max Olijnyk

Post filed under category: stories

Cleaner Anxiety

The Design Files invited me to write one of their Monthly Musings columns. I accepted immediately and wrote this piece about my struggle with the idea of having a cleaner. Hilarity (and several encouraging comments) ensued. And yes, Tina the cleaner read and enjoyed it.

Rosie

Every six weeks, my hair suddenly shifts from George Clooney to Alan Partridge overnight. I suppose it would be interesting to see which salt-and-pepper-haired screen icon it takes after next (Dumbledore?), but I’ve never been able to stick it out long enough to find out. When that fateful day rolls around, I text my…

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Acting like an adult

I wrote this story not long before Fred was born and I was freaking out about becoming a father and a grown up and all that stuff. It was published by Vice.

Ten days in lycra

I wanted to know why people like dressing in lycra and riding expensive bikes around, so I gave it a try, and wrote this story about the experience. It was published in the Broadsheet newspaper, then republished online.

Fifty Fifty

This Classic Max is about my neighbour Giuseppe and his dog Gracie. I changed their names to Roberto and Nina to protect their identities.

A moment of wonder

This Classic Max is about the time I lost my phone and then found it again. It doesn’t sound interesting, or funny, but I think it sort of manages to be both.

 

Shannon’s hill

The phone booth shone like a beacon from the top of the hill, illuminating the street in a fluorescent glow. We always stopped to check it for coins on our way to the shops. Then we rolled back, salt and vinegars and one point two five litre cokes in hand, the lines in the…

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The longest and the loudest

 

I wrote this story about my friend Brett, who is the funniest person I have ever met. It was published by Vice as the first instalment of my Classic Max column.

Literate and likeable

I wrote this piece about the difference between graffiti and street art, and why the whole thing makes me feel uncomfortable. It was published in Desktop magazine, then online. I was pretty happy with how it turned out, especially with the accompanying illustration by Tim Lahan.